Change is Hard!
When I woke up this morning, I thought … what a drastic change in weather. It’s colder. No more 30 degrees, sunny, balmy days. Summer is over. It was a harsh reality to realize Fall was here! At first, I was in denial, denied the need to put a fall jacket on, denied the need to carry an umbrella due to the potential for rain. I was resistant to the change I knew was taking place.
It’s funny how hard change is. It’s like jumping into the cold water after a summer’s day. It’s somewhat of a shock to our system. But… change is also good. Fall makes me appreciate the summer and winter makes me appreciate the fall. Someone once shared with me, "Canada is very balanced – with 4 seasons”. The balance of each of the seasons gives us a taste of each climate but is short enough to appreciate each one.
The other thing that change reminds me of is that it will also soon change. Even if I don’t want to endure this season anymore, it will soon fade and another season will come. I relate this as well to what we may be enduring in life. Currently, I am going through a season of grief which I wish would end. It’s painful and it’s hard and it’s suffering. And quite frankly some days, I wish it would just hurry up and end. But other days reminds me of the good in this season. I have realized I have loved deeply and out of such love, comes deep sorrow. It is evidence of the impact of people I care about deeply. It means, they made an impact in my life in a profound way and I wouldn’t dismiss that for any amount of suffering.
Actually, if reframed through mindfulness, it is about awareness and by increasing our awareness and curiosity of what we are feeling, it can reveal a lot to us. For example, in the moment of my grief, I feel deep sorrow, tightness in my breath, tension in my shoulders. My heart aches to be hugged again like I once was, or to be told by my loved one, “I love you”. My awareness is an ache for a missed and lived experience. My ache is to be loved again and feel love again. When I choose to accept this experience rather than push it away because it is painful, I do feel the love of the person who passed away. If I close my eyes, I can feel their love like the sun beaming on my face on a warm summer’s day. I feel compassion and love, just not in a physical way. Remembering in this way helps me to realize suffering does not always have to be painful, I can choose the moments. And if the pain is too surmountable and overwhelming, I can appreciate it will pass and this ache will not be as sharp for long.
And with a changing season, I can breathe in deep breath of fresh air and let it fill my soul, knowing this too shall pass and I will try and appreciate the lessons I will learn through the changes I will face.
If you need some help dealing with some of the changes you are going through, know I am here to help you navigate this season.